Do people really have Divorce Parties?
In recent years celebrities like Heather Mills have brought ‘Divorce Parties’ to the forefront. There are books on how to throw one and planners dedicated to helping you host one.
‘Are you kidding me?’ were the first words out of my mouth when I’d heard that an acquaintance of mine was hosting a party when her divorce became final. I couldn’t fathom that people were actually celebrating the dissolution and finality of their marriage. Apart from death, is there actually anything more painful than divorce?
All of us set out and vowed that ‘from this day forward….we will love, honor and cherish…’ I believe that most of us had intended to stay married, nurture our children together and offer each other mutual support. Regardless of the reason, sometimes things just don’t work out. The decision to separate is made and we embark on a journey of pain, emotional turmoil and sadness. Then, once things are settled, we begin to heal as do our children and if we are lucky, we begin to mend our relationship with our ex-spouse and co-parent.
Is it really appropriate to celebrate a failed relationship? How do you think your children would feel to learn that Mom or Dad is hosting a ‘Divorce Party’? Is this ritual necessary? Is it truly something to gloat about? Surely there is a more humble way to thank those who supported you and stood by you. I understand that rituals provide comfort, community and closure but certainly there is a better way!