5 Tips For Making The Right Divorce Decision

A blog about making the right divorce decisions during emotional times.

You still love your spouse, but you think they have changed and no longer care about you or your marriage. Your spouse did something hurtful that convinced you to initiate the divorce process. Now, you’re asking yourself “is it time to look for a divorce lawyer?” You need to determine if the marriage is salvageable before asking yourself this question.

In deciding whether or not to divorce, you may question certain thoughts, feelings, and reasons that prompt you to make a certain decision.  Some of those questions may include: Is this divorce the right decision? Am I making the right call here? How do I know if it’s truly time for a divorce? How can I be sure our marriage isn’t fixable?

In trying to be sure you are doing the right thing, it could make you second guess everything. The following guide aims to give you five simple tips on how to make the right decision for your life and happiness.

1. Communicate With Your Spouse – You’ve tried over and over to make it work with your spouse. You’ve cried yourself to sleep at night, spoken with highly recommended Calgary divorce lawyers, and talked with family and friends about the situation. Despite all of this, you still have no idea what to do. It seems like you’re stuck in a rut and you can’t get out. The only thing you know for sure is that you don’t feel happy in your relationship. No matter how you may be feeling it is important to speak directly with your spouse and give them an opportunity to explain themselves.

2. Consider Exterior Life Events – Life changes can place additional pressure on your relationship. As a result, you may catch yourself over-analyzing every interaction, or feeling uncomfortable in the way you interact with each other. Having a baby, moving to a new city, and losing a job are just a few of the many major life changes you or your partner may experience. If you’re feeling pressure from these impending changes in your life, there’s no doubt this stress will affect your relationship.

3. Be Real With Yourself – When you go through a divorce, there is always a great fear of the unknown. You know your life is going to change in such a dramatic way, and the way you live now won’t be how you live in even a few months’ time. It’s natural to resist — but if you don’t give yourself permission to explore the possibilities, it’s not healthy.

4. Seek Professional Help – The decision to get a divorce is not an easy one, but it becomes easier once you know you have done everything in your power to make your marriage work. Developing good communication skills through couples therapy or through divorce mediation is essential to keeping the lines of communication open.

5. Don’t Avoid All Confrontation – When a couple reaches an impasse in their marriage and divorce seems inevitable, it’s important to understand that there will always be some degree of confrontation. It may not be loud, emotional screaming matches, but there will always be some arguments as to what the conditions are of your separation or even, when do you separate. Accept that this is normal and okay.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, alone, and confused as to whether or not you want a divorce, it can be tough to make the right decisions. It’s also understandable that you would question certain aspects surrounding your marriage whenever you’re considering divorce.

You may be irrationally questioning certain aspects of your relationship, marriage, and decisions based on anger and confusion. The best thing you can do is take your time and don’t make any rash decisions – After all, these decisions will affect the rest of your life.